Identity Crisis: Her version
by Annie D
Summary: After an accident, a girl's life falls apart but she finds herself strangely linked to the Shohoku gang.
1. Part 1

**Fandom**: Slam Dunk   
**Warnings**: Female character focus.   
**Rating**: PG for minor swearing.   
**Disclaimer**: So bright, precious. Just a fan, precious. No harm, precious.   
**Notes**: Best read with the other version of Identity Crisis, although this one can pretty much stand on its own.   


  


**Identity Crisis**   
**Her Version**

by Annie D   
the_80s_chick@lycos.com   


PART 1 

_I'm dying?_

_No, you can't die._

_Who says? I have to be!_

_You'll live!_

_But why?_

***** 

All was quiet. And then a sharp electronic scream broke the silence. 

It was the scream that woke her up. At first there was dizziness, just before the exhaustion spilt over her. Every bone and every muscle screamed in its fatigue, and that was all she knew, as everything else remained cloudy and distant. The only reminder of far-away reality was the occasional spark of pain, and the fading echo of the electronic scream. 

_"She's waking up…"_

Was she? Waking up didn't seem to be an option just yet. She coughed, and through the cloudiness she felt something warm touch her head. 

_"That cough sounds terrible."_

_"Just remnants of the bronchitis. It'll clear up on its own."_

So she was okay, then. She felt oddly cheered up by that thought. Grateful, even. 

_"We should just let her sleep in a bit. She'll be up and at 'em in a few days."_

A few days sounded good. Sleep sounded even better. And so she did, already forgetting the distant whisper of the electronic scream. 

***** 

"Miyuki, are you awake?" Hands were shaking her gently. 

And she awoke, the cloudiness almost completely gone. She blinked a few times and coughed, just to make sure that she really was awake. 

"Hai…" she croaked. 

"Oh, thank goodness." A ridiculously cheerful face broke into her line of sight, disrupting the sterile view of the white ceiling. "How do you feel?" 

"Sick," she said. 

The face, which belonged to a middle-aged woman with brown-black hair, laughed. Miyuki – _that's my name right _– let the woman help her sit up. A cup of something hot was shoved into her hands and Miyuki looked at it. 

"Tea," the woman said. 

Miyuki sipped the tea gingerly, deciding that it wasn't the time to complain about how much she hated the drink. As she did so, she slowly took in her surroundings. A hospital room, singular. One TV, two chairs, a small table, only the woman by her side. Miyuki blinked as a name jumped out at her. 

"Mom!" Miyuki choked on her tea. 

The woman's eyes turned wide as she took a piece of tissue from the table to help wipe the spilt tea from her hospital garb. "What, Miyuki?" 

Miyuki shook her head, as though the action would help clear her jumbled thoughts. Why had it taken so long for her to recognize her own mother? Just then, a pounding within her skull drew her attention from the question. _Headache!_

"What happened?" Miyuki asked, squinting through the headache. 

Her mother's face clouded over. "Do you remember that you went out for practice even though I told you not to?" 

Miyuki tried to scratch her head, but her exhausted arms wouldn't let her. "Not really." 

"You had just barely recovered from the pneumonia," her mother said, shaking her head sadly. "Already so weak, but you were pushing yourself. You always push yourself so hard, Miyuki. You and your volleyball." 

Volleyball. Right. Her number one love, volleyball. 

"What happened?" Miyuki asked again. 

"You were practicing in the park, like you always do, and you were so frustrated for losing so much time when the games were so near, and you pushed yourself to almost complete exhaustion. On your way back home you stumbled in the middle of a road. There was a truck…" 

Miyuki shivered as vague memories passed through her. _The screech of a tire… People shouting… "Watch out!"_

"A boy saved you," her mother said. "He ran onto the street and pushed you out of the way." 

"What happened to him? Is he here?" 

"He died, Miyuki." 

Miyuki stared. "Died?" 

"Yes, two days ago." 

_Good god… _The shock reeled through her, causing her to drop the already spilt cup of tea. She shut her eyes, and within the darkness she felt rather remembered the sounds and the feels… _Bodies ramming together… Screams in the background… A boy's voice, "Get out of the way!" _Miyuki started trembling uncontrollably. "I killed him…?" 

"No!" her mother said quickly, wrapping her arms around her daughter. "It was accident. The driver didn't see you because of the glare of the sun, he said so himself. There has been no blame or accusations, it was an _accident_." 

Miyuki shrieked something wordless as she buried herself in her mother's shoulder. 

For a long while the room was silent except for Miyuki's sobs and the soft cooing sounds of her mother. "Please, Miyuki. He died so you could live. I know you, and you'll blame yourself, but it wasn't your fault. You know, not many people are as lucky as you are to get a second chance." 

_Second chance_. Miyuki shivered as a frustratingly elusive thought waved at her from just outside her memory. 

"What was his name?" Miyuki asked softly. 

"Sakuragi Hanamichi." 

_A boy, shouting… The hard gravel of the road… _Miyuki clutched her mother even more tightly. 

"I want to pay my respects." 

"He's been cremated," her mother told her. 

Miyuki fell silent again. Slowly, she took a deep breath, pulled back from the hug and looked at her mother with a determined expression on her face. "I'll get better, then I'll go and see his parents to pay my respects properly." 

Her mother nodded. 

***** 

Miyuki returned home with her mother no less than two days later, and that was only after Miyuki had screamed at the doctor that she was not a weakling and that she was feeling all right and that there was nothing worth worrying about. The doctor had checked her thoroughly, perhaps hoping to find some excuse to keep her in the hospital, but to his own surprise she was as well as she claimed to be. 

Except for the headaches. Those came in occasional sharp pounding sessions that would merit jaw-grinding fist-clenching toleration, and sometimes she'd even lose her sight completely, but she considered those just remnants of the near-accident trauma, and she even managed to blame said headaches for making her memory sluggish. The late-recognition of her mother was only the first, for in the following days she found it difficult to recall other basic memories, like which school she went to, the name of her cat, her favourite volleyball team, that sort of thing. 

But really, she didn't consider the sluggish memories or the skull-cracking headaches anything to be worried about. Not when there were other more important things. And so she conveniently neglected to mention them to the doctor, and received a release charge form in return. 

Finding the family of the boy who saved her wasn't too difficult, since there was the convenience of the phonebook. Miyuki took the first opportunity she could to go to the Sakuragi home, which was barely a day after her release, despite protests from the mother who kept telling her to take some time to rest first. 

Arriving at the entrance of the small apartment building, Miyuki double-checked the address she had scribbled on a small piece of paper. She was just about the approach the main door when it swung open, letting out a middle-aged woman carrying two large suitcases. 

The headache started with a dull pounding at the back of her skull, but Miyuki pushed it back as it wasn't the time for that sort of thing. Without a doubt in her head, Miyuki spoke up. "Mrs. Sakuragi?" 

The woman looked up at her in surprise. Miyuki's initial response was to immediately catalogue the many similarities between the woman before her and her own mother, and she had to choke back the fist of shame that had wedged itself in her throat. Miyuki could easily see that the woman had been beautiful once, but exhaustion and sadness had made themselves permanent residents on her face. 

"Yes?" Mrs. Sakuragi said. 

"I'm… Takemoto Miyuki." She bowed quickly, but not before seeing the surprised recognition that passed over Mrs. Sakuragi's face. There was a soft twin-thump of two suitcases being dropped, and then another cautious silence. 

Miyuki swallowed slowly, and it took all her courage to bring herself to look at Mrs. Sakuragi in the eyes. She had never thought beyond finding the boy's family, and now that she had, she came to the realization that there was _nothing _she could say that could make what had happened less painful. Miyuki realised in horror that her appearance had most likely made it worse. 

"I am not angry with you, if that's what you're thinking," the lady said softly. She was not smiling, but she was not frowning either. 

Miyuki's throat was shamefully dry, but she was determined to overcome it. "It would make it easier for you to hate me. It would it make it hurt less—" 

"My son was a wonderful kind person, and his choice to save you was his to make," Mrs Sakuragi said firmly. "Do not taint his memory by suggesting I hate what he'd done for you. I don't blame you for what happened because he wouldn't blame you." 

Miyuki blinked rapidly as she opened her mouth, wishing that she would say something deep, something meaningful, something that would make the lady understand all her regret and sorrow and shame. Instead, all she was able to say was, "I'm sorry." 

"Yes, and that's all you should be," Mrs Sakuragi said. Slowly, her aged face drew into a smile. "You are a good person to try and take the blame the way you have, but that's not the way things should be done. We all regret many things, but we should learn and then move on, don't you agree?" 

"Yes," Miyuki said quickly. "If there's anything I can do—" 

"Live," Mrs Sakuragi told her firmly. The elderly lady approached Miyuki carefully and rested a warm hand on her shoulder – the touch in its kindness and understanding partially lifting the heavy burden Miyuki had placed on her heart. Miyuki smiled uncertainly, just then catching sight of the two suitcases behind her. 

"Are you going somewhere?" Miyuki asked. 

"To go live with my sister, away from this place," Mrs Sakuragi told her. "I've many happy memories here, but also many sad ones. I'm going to try and make a new life elsewhere." 

Miyuki didn't mention her husband, for she knew without asking that Mrs Sakuragi was a widow. Instead, she was overwhelmed with the urge to stop the lady from leaving, but she knew there was nothing she could say about that, either. So she settled for, "Then I wish you luck and happiness." 

"Thank you." 

They bowed to one another, Miyuki deeper than the other, before parting ways. There was something of peace now in Miyuki's restless spirit, as the meeting had caused an avoidance of depression and self-berating anger on Miyuki's part. She wasn't about to waste the boy's kindness, no matter how much she was angry with herself for her own stupidity. 

She felt comforted at least, and was much more enthusiastic to continue her life, but such peace was short-lived. 

Mainly, there were the headaches. They were related to her botched memory, although Miyuki didn't know why. The only thing she did know was that just barely a few days after obtaining quiet peace from her meeting with the boy's mother, the headaches returned with a vengeance, angry and determined to disrupt whatever resolutions she had made to continue her life. Quiet tolerance no longer seemed adequate to deal with it, so Miyuki turned to anger for what little comfort it gave. 

That, and the overwhelming sense of wrongness that was starting to plague her. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, just that everything seemed inexplicably _wrong_. Especially after she returned to school, little by little even the smallest thing was able to provoke her, causing her temper to flare so often that her friends and team-mates were starting to joke that she had PMS (Permanent Menstrual Stress). Everything was making her angry, even the love of her life: volleyball. 

One day, at volleyball practice four months after the accident, she snapped. 

It had been a rather basic dive, but Miyuki had missed it by a good few feet, causing the team captain Ryoko to start lecturing her on concentrating on the ball's trajectory and… 

"SHUT UP!" Miyuki screamed. She grabbed the white ball and threw it straight at Ryoko, who ducked her head calmly as the white sphere went flying past. 

"Takemoto, this behaviour of yours—" Ryoko began. 

"I hate volleyball!" Miyuki screamed. Everyone gasped. 

"Takemoto…" Ryoko said softly. 

"I HATE IT!" She stomped her feet on the floor a bit for effect, just barely containing the urge to kick one of her team-mates. "This is so stupid! You're all so stupid!" 

With that final non-memorable phrase, Miyuki stalked off the volleyball court, steam practically rising off her head. 

The girls watched her leave with shocked faces. 

"What happened to her?" one of them asked, breaking the silence. 

"What's _been _happening to her?" another one asked. "She's like, permanently pissed off." 

Ryoko picked up the volleyball and tossed it to one of the girls on the bench. "Continue practice. I'm going after Takemoto." 

Ryoko found Miyuki in the nearby park, sitting forlornly in a tiny kid's swing. She looked up as Ryoko approached her, and since the temperamental girl didn't start screaming her head off, the volleyball captain took it as a good sign and eased herself into the other swing. 

"Takemoto-san… What's wrong?" 

Miyuki was quiet for a while. "Everything." 

"_Everything _everything?" 

"Hai." 

Ryoko scratched her chin. "Then you have a big problem there." 

Miyuki jumped to her feet, eyes blazing. "I knew it! You came here to make fun of me! Well, I'm not going to take this—" 

_SLAP!_

Miyuki slowly turned her face back toward Ryoko, who was now standing in front of her with her right palm upraised. Miyuki raised a hand to touch her stinging cheek. 

Ryoko didn't look angry, only stern. "You're losing it, Takemoto-san." 

Miyuki clenched her fists at her side. "Hai." 

"Ever since the accident, you've been bad-tempered," Ryoko said. "You've not been yourself. You barely talk to your friends, you never hang out with anyone anymore, you explode for the smallest reason… I know you're still upset since that boy died saving your life, but this is ridiculous. You need to get on with your life." 

_I'm trying… _Miyuki mind moved back to the boy's mother's kind words. At that time she had truly believed that she'd be able to move on, but somehow it hadn't been as easy. _I can't move on. Everything's wrong somehow._

Ryoko sighed. "You were never this angry before, Takemoto-san. And you were such a good volleyball player. You're still good though, but your heart is somewhere else. As it is with your friends. You don't laugh as much, or smile as much. You're angry all the time." 

Miyuki hung her head. "Hai." 

Ryoko crossed her arms over chest. "Well, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm a volleyball captain. The IH tournament is starting in a few weeks. I need to know if you can play." 

Miyuki looked at Ryoko in surprise. Volleyball was her life! Of course she… wanted… to… 

"I can't," she said, the words out before she even knew they were in her head. "I'll mess up." 

Ryoko nodded solemnly. "I don't know what's going on, but I know you're confused. You need some time to yourself. Figure out what's wrong." 

Miyuki shrugged. Ryoko patted her awkwardly on the shoulder and then walked off. 

Alone again, Miyuki sat on the swing and stared up at the sky. 

***** 

By the time Miyuki got home, she was feeling wretched. Now not only was she angry, she was also sad and embarrassed. Her brain felt like imploding from emotional overload despite there not being any particular headache there at the moment, and so she went straight to her room and hid under the covers. 

Her mother managed to coax her out from hiding for dinner and the inevitable long talk afterward. Miyuki's initial ramblings were mostly nonsensical, as she herself was confused as to what was going on, but by the guidance of her mother the conversation soon become constructive. 

Miyuki told her what had been going on, including how she had been feeling lost and how everything had felt wrong. Her mother didn't laugh, but listened thoughtfully and asked proper questions that made Miyuki feel a little better, because there may be the chance that she wasn't going insane. 

"A change in environment would do you some good," her mother said after a while. 

"It's still the new school year, mom," Miyuki told her. "I can't go on holiday now." 

"I mean a new school," her mother said, tapping a finger on her chin thoughtfully. 

Miyuki gaped. "Are… Are you serious?" 

"Yes, why not?" her mother asked cheerfully. "Why not go a co-ed? It would do you some good to get into a different environment, mix around a bit, figure things out…" 

Miyuki's mouth opened and closed silently. 

Her mother frowned thoughtfully. "There's only one other school I know of that is close enough to get to by walking… 

And that was how Takemoto Miyuki ended up going to Shohoku High. 

***** 

After much negotiating, Miyuki was given passage to continue her sophomore year at Shohoku High. In her heart, she felt more than a little excited to be going to another school, and somewhat relieved to get away from the unnamed shadows at her old school that had annoyed her to no end. It did not occur to her that Shohoku would be more of a relief than she had ever thought it could be. 

So on her first day at the new school, she bounded off from home happily. It was still a respectable walking distance away, the only difference being that she had to go through the town a bit. She felt the barest tinge of guilt for not missing any of her friends from the old school, but that didn't hinder her spirits much. 

She hummed a little under her breath as she walked along, feeling a little surprised at the presence of jitters in her stomach. 

_BANG! _Miyuki started in surprise at the loud noise unmistakable as that caused by one moving object hitting a stationary one, and she turned slowly to see a tall dark-haired boy picking himself up from a fallen pile-up of trash cans just across the road. 

"Baka," was her first response. She tried to walk away, but for some reason her feet were rooted to the spot. She stared at the dark-haired boy, who was lifting up his bike and brushing it off a bit, the innocent action causing anger and annoyance to spurt inside her. She felt that more was required of her, including making her annoyance known, so she raised a shaking finger and pointed it at him. "Hey, stupid! What were you doing, sleeping?!" 

The boy didn't acknowledge her call, and instead just hopped back on his bike. And that just angered her even more. 

"Woi! Don't ignore me, you idiot!" She started to charge across the street after him, but before she was halfway there he was already on his bike and pedalling off. 

Miyuki huffed to herself. "Idiot." The thought and its accompanying anger made her surprisingly happy, so she laughed. It wasn't the same sort of anger she'd suffered the months before, but a clean type of anger, associated with rightness instead of wrongness, and realising the change was exhilarating. 

Soon Miyuki was bounding back on her way to school, chomping some bubblegum she'd found in her backpack, and eventually blowing bubbles cheerfully in time to her steps. 

Her first day at the new school was looking to be up, and it couldn't even be brought down when the first schoolmate she'd met – a horizontally and vertically-challenged boy with a shaved head and specs – opened his mouth to leer at her. 

"Waaaaah you're so tall! Are you a model, sweetie?" 

She punched him, then sauntered off to class, still popping bubbles all the way. 

***** 

So she had been scolded by three of her teachers so far in the day – one for chewing bubblegum in class, one for not having the proper books and one for nodding off to sleep when being asked to answer a question. She still felt better than she had in months, and the awareness of that fact just raised the rush in her blood all the more. 

Some of her classmates were nice to her, particularly this shy girl with very short hair named Fuji, who was sitting next her, since she was very helpful in explaining what she'd missed in each class, as well as the quirks of each teacher. 

It didn't matter that many of her other classmates, as well as some of the teachers, were looking at her as though she were some kind of alien. So she had picked a fight with one of the teachers (it wasn't her fault that she didn't have the required books, because she's a new student, dammit!) and tended to make loud comments or ask irrelevant questions in class. All of that didn't matter, because they would all know who she was soon enough. 

_A tensai._

The word had appeared out of nowhere, but had branded itself clearly in her head. Miyuki smiled. 

Yup, she loved this new school. 


	2. Part 2

**Identity Crisis**   
**Her Version**

by Annie D   
the_80s_chick@lycos.com   
  


PART 2 

  


Miyuki's good mood was not sodden even when during lunch a bunch of rather smelly gangster wannabes had come up to her asking for a "date". In fact, it rather incensed her good mood, and so she cheerfully gave the leader a sharp kick in his unmentionables and bashed the heads of the other two members together before skipping off to see if they sold bubblegum in the cafeteria. 

As she disappeared round the corner, four heads popped round the wall to watch her leave in a perfect totem pole formation, all eyes wide and all mouths forming 'o's. 

"That's the one that hit you, eh, Takamiya?" a guy with curly blonde hair asked. 

"Hai," said the speccy one at the bottom. "And I was so polite to her, too." 

"If that's what she does when she's in a good mood, I wonder what she's like when she's in a bad one," said a youngish-looking one that could've been mistaken for the weakling of the group. 

The fourth guy, who sported a moustache, rubbed his hand together. "I love a challenge, don't you?" 

The four of them agreed to generally stick their noses in Miyuki's business and trotted off to find her, but she was not in the cafeteria by that time as she had decided to optimistically make a round of the school to get better acquainted with the place. 

It had been a nice little way to spend lunch hour. Miyuki managed to terrorise a couple who had been making out in the mini alleyway between the gym and the main school building, and then later she scared the wits out of a group of students who had been smoking (causing one of them to swallow his fag – Miyuki would never forget the look on his face) and generally made a ruckus of things, her laughter signalling triumph wherever she went. 

It was a productive lunch break, and by the time it was over the word was out on the "tall new girl" and how she should be avoided at all costs. Miyuki, still dazed by how good she was feeling at the moment, noticed none of the whispers as she returned to class. And even if she did know, she probably would've been proud of herself. 

The closest she came to finding out was when, during class, Fuji leaned toward her and whispered, "What were you up to during lunch?" 

"A bit of this, a bit of that," Miyuki replied, still unable to wipe the grin off her face. "I really like it here, Fuji. It's so much better than my last school. It's really great." 

"Really?" Fuji said uncertainly. Miyuki flashed her another blinding grin, causing Fuji to bite back any advice she had been wanting to give. Surely the gossip was exaggerating. Surely. Fuji returned a timid smile of her own. "I'm glad." 

The next classes all passed by in a blur, and before Miyuki knew it, her first day at Shohoku High was over. 

"Myself and a few friends are going to watch the basketball team's practice," Fuji told her as they were clearing up. "Do you… do you want to come?" 

Within two seconds, Miyuki considered and decided. "Basketball's not really my thing. You go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" 

Setting off for home alone, Miyuki hadn't gotten far when the same bunch of gangster-wannabes from the lunch break incident, this time with backup, had cornered her down in an alleyway between a couple of shophouses. 

"We're gonna teach you some manners," said a tall gruff one. 

As cheerful as she was, Miyuki could see a bad situation for what it was. Her hands clenched themselves into fists and she raised them carefully. 

"You're gonna fight us, little girl?" one of them sneered. 

Miyuki started. Fight? She'd never been in a fight her entire life! Sure, she was a bit fit because of volleyball, but she'd never even— 

A fist came flying toward her and Miyuki swerved to one side, propelled by some instinct she had never known she had. Her own right hook went flying, and the guy's head snapped back. 

Swallowing her own surprise, Miyuki stared at the guy who was then on the ground and groaning, then at her hands. Pride swelled inside her. _I am the tensai! _Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at the rest of the surprised gang-fellows. 

"You're gonna pay for that!" said the big guy. 

"Hey!" 

All eyes turned toward the entrance of the alleyway, where four figures stood dramatically shadowed by the sunlight behind them. Miyuki squinted. Three she didn't know, but number four was the same guy she'd hit in the morning, after he'd called her "sweetie". 

"Six of you against one girl?" said one of them, smirking slightly. "That's hardly fair." Light glinted off the short guy's specs. The blonde one cracked his knuckles. 

"Seven," Miyuki corrected. "That guy's out. I hit him! Don't underestimate this girl!" She grinned proudly, hands on hips. 

The big guy growled, drool sliding through a crack in his mouth. Miyuki must have missed whatever secret-gangfight-initiating-exchange that occurred, because all at once fists were flying and a full-blown fight was underway. 

Miyuki's girlie instincts told her to back off and let the boys do their thing. But something deep within her, something raw and bursting with adrenaline, told her to join, because, well… it looked like _fun_. She clenched her hands into fists and raised them. 

_Why not? _So she joined the fight. 

The won, by virtue of optimism and cheerfulness, which radiated from Miyuki and was reflected off the four guys that had arrived to help her. The big bullies were soon sent off scampering (minus the three that had completely been knocked out) while the victors shook hands. 

"Eh, gomen," Miyuki said, scratching her head as she looked at the speccy guy. "About this morning… I didn't mean to be rude or anything." 

"Oh, it's okay, I get that response all the time," he laughed. 

"You really can fight," said the boyish one, regarding her with friendly eyes. 

Miyuki laughed. "Actually I've never been in a fight before today!" She struck a pose. "See, you cannot underestimate the hidden abilities of this tensai!" 

Something in the air changed. It was no longer cheerful, but solemn. Miyuki, sensing that she had done something wrong, carefully undid her pose. "Uh…?" 

"Oh, it's nothng," said the boyish one, quickly forcing a smile. "You just… reminded us of someone." 

"Oh really, who?" Miyuki asked eagerly. 

"Nevermind," said the moustached one, quickly waving it away. "What's your name, then?" 

"Takemoto Miyuki," she said. "And you are…" 

"Takamiya Nozomi." "Ohkosu Yuji." "And I'm Noma Chuichiro." 

And the headache started up again, pounding faintly just behind her eyes and taking her completely by surprise. The day had been going so well, too! There hadn't been any sense of wrongness and she hadn't lost her temper for any reason, so why now…? 

"Are you okay?" Ohkosu asked. 

"Ah, hai," Miyuki said, quickly smiling. 

"Yes," said the boyish one. "And I'm—" 

_Yohei._

"Mito Yohei," he said, bowing slightly. "Please to meet you, Takemoto-san." 

Miyuki blinked, jaw clenching unnaturally as she fought back the pounding headache that threatened to slice her head in two. She pressed her hands onto both sides of her head and shut her eyes, trying to squeeze the pain out._ Please stop… Not now… Not anymore…_

"Takemoto-san?" 

And suddenly as it appeared, the pain stopped. Miyuki looked at the four boys, and upon seeing the concern there, she managed a genuine smile. "Migraine. I get it every now and then." 

"Oh," said Noma. "Sounds terrible." 

"It is," said Miyuki, who meant it. "Hey, I'm hungry, let's go to Danny's!" 

"Oh, you know that place?" Takamiya asked. "We hang out there all the time!" 

_No, I don't know that place… _Miyuki realised in silent shock. The name had simply popped out of thin air, and it had somehow made sense to her to want to eat at Danny's with this bunch of misfits. It was surprising, how much she felt she clicked with them, as though she had known them for longer than just a few minutes. She brushed off the thought and quickly said that she had heard about the place from someone and had always wanted to go there. 

The sense of belonging was quickly taking over the wrongness she had felt for months, and that was reason enough to ignore the faint unsettlement in her stomach. 

***** 

Yohei waved a goodbye as Miyuki crossed the street away from the rest of the gang as they parted ways, all stomachs full from a healthy (credited) evening meal and all spirits uplifted from having fun company to hang out with. He slid his hands into his pockets and partially lifted his eyes to the evening sky as he exhaled something resembling bliss. 

Today, for the first time in months, the Gundam had felt complete. Yohei knew that it was because of this girl, Miyuki-san, but why it should be _her _that made them complete he wasn't too sure her understood. 

No one could ever replace their fifth member and his own best friend, that much Yohei had known from the beginning. No one would ever the same arrogant, immature and innocent boundless energy. Yohei had found himself believing it for ever so long, hoping that in doing so he was preserving the memory of his best friend the way it should be. Irreplacable. 

And yet there she was, someone who could fill in his shoes, even if she and the rest of the Gundam didn't know it yet. Yohei had only spent a few hours with her, yet he knew. She _fitted_. A bit too well, he reflected nervously. It wasn't only in the conventional way, but also in ways Yohei hadn't thought possible… 

As Miyuki waved one last time before turning the corner, a flash of vibrant colour on her hair made Yohei's heart stop. 

A trick of the light, Yohei told himself as she disappeared round the corner. Tint of the evening sun. Of course it had to be. 

Of course. 

***** 

Miyuki walked on, humming under her breath. A _very _good day! Her mother had been right. A change in environment really did wonders. 

Suddenly she stopped walking and turned her head around frantically. She wasn't on the street leading home! Miyuki cursed her feet for bringing her to completely different side of the bazaar, to a portion of town that she hadn't even been to before. Curses. 

A soft sound, like the meet of rubber on solid cement, took her attention away from the immediate problem. It came in regular intervals, soft and sure, and then suddenly quickened to be replaced with a soft swooshing sound. 

Miyuki followed the noises, which lead her to an open-air court framed by high protective wiring, with a familiar battered bike leaning against a bunch of trees just next to it. 

She shimmied behind trees for cover, then carefully peered between a few branches to take a peek. 

"Oh, it's that stupid boy," she muttered to herself. "So he plays basketball, eh?" 

Miyuki watched him. Basketball was vastly different from her own love of volleyball, and she had never paid it much heed because she had figured that it was too grabby for her liking. But… _but…_ as she watched the tall boy glide across the court in graceful synchronisation with the ball he was dribbling, she felt her heart skip under her ribcage. Not for the boy of course, that was ridiculous. For the _ball_. 

She watched the ball soar and slide through the hoop, not pausing to touch the rings. Her fingers clenched and unclenched themselves against her will, and she could feel that they were wishing to touch that rubber sphere, to caress it and guide it, to see whether she'd be able to make the ball look equally beautiful in flight. 

Well, _of course _she could! She was the tensai, after all! Volleyball tensai, really, but a true sportsman would be able to adapt to any sport, and that was exactly what she was. Holding and handling a rubber basketball would by a synch after the type of torture the hard white volleyball had inflicted on her hands. 

So she stepped out of her hiding place. Well, she wasn't exactly _hiding_, because the tensai doesn't hide. She was watching her opponent, studying him. _Opponent_. That word felt right, too, when it came to describing the tall boy. 

"Oi!" she called, entering the court. 

The boy paused in the middle of making another long shot, and half-turned. 

"You a basketballman, yea?" she asked, hands on hips. "You don't look that good to me." 

He made a perfect three-point shot. 

Miyuki snorted. "I can do that!" Why on earth she said that, she didn't know. It felt good, though. "I bet you think you're so good, eh? Am I right? Ah, but I don't think you're that good. Look at that, _I _can do better." She marched toward him. 

The boy, still quiet, went to the ball and picked it up. He bounced it a few times, then turned to make another shot. 

"Hey, don't ignore the tensai!" Miyuki shouted. 

The boy froze. Miyuki stiffened uncertainly. 

Slowly, the tall boy turned around to look at her. His eyes – bright blue, Miyuki realised – were glaring. Not just glaring, but _glaring_. It was like being under a particularly sharp dissecting knife. 

"Oh, you scared?" Miyuki taunted, refusing to shimmer under his glare. 

The boy's eyes flicked suddenly to Miyuki's hair. 

Miyuki frowned. "What's wrong with you? Cannot speak? Mute?" She bounded up to him and knocked him a few times aside his head. "Hello!" she shouted into his ear. When he still didn't respond, Miyuki tried to take the ball from his arms. 

He pulled the ball away sharply, causing Miyuki to stumble a bit. That was when she finally noticed his jersey. 

"Shohoku?!" she shrieked, pointing. "Ooooh you're on the Shohoku basketball team! My friend Fuji says you're all really good, but if a guy like _you _is on the team then I don't see how could they can be. Are they all weirdos like you? Hello? Can you hear me?" 

The boy was still looking at her. Studying her. 

"Whaaat?! I know, I'm very pretty muahahahahahaha!" Miyuki laughed, planting her hands on her hips. "But don't think I'll date you, because I have standards, you know." 

The boy finally spoke. "Do'aho." 

It was only because her breath had caught in her throat Miyuki wasn't able to shriek aloud when the headache struck. It no longer consisted of pounding, but a sharp continuous POUND that radiated in, on and through her skull. The starting flash of pain rendered her blind for a moment, and Miyuki staggered forward a bit, clenching her fingers on either side of her head. _Stop… please stop!_

_Do'aho._

The word made her angry. It didn't mean much, since she had been called worse (on that very day, in fact), but it just screwed with her nerves like sharp fingernails on a blackboard. 

She blinked, forcing herself to focus through all the pain on the source of that nasty word, and she glared at the tall boy. 

"You…" she growled. 

The boy started toward her, and in the panic of not having total control over herself, Miyuki sent her right fist a-flying, and when she felt the comforting clash of bone and bone, she ran for all it was worth. 

***** 

Her mother had been concerned, of course, when greeted with the sight of her only daughter covered in scratches and would-be bruises. Miyuki had waved her off with another bright smile, capable of doing so again since the headache had dimmed, and told her parent how wonderful the new school was. The conviction in her voice made her mother back off with the questions, but not with the required maternal attention to the cuts and scratches. 

As her mother was treating a scratch above her eyebrow, she asked, "What did you do to your hair?" 

"Huh? Nothing." 

"Are you sure?" 

"YES!" 

Miyuki did, later on, find out what her mother had meant about her hair. She had sulked off to the bathroom to see the damage on her face, but instead had been immediately taken with her hair. 

It was slightly messy from the fight much earlier on, but still quite the same style. Long locks, pulled back in a simple (and boring) ponytail, a few strands loose to frame her face. But what was wrong was the colour. Her hair had been brown, and had always been brown since the day she was born. She had never dyed it or bleached it, because she liked it brown. 

Yet there it was, brown now touched with red. 

Slowly, Miyuki reached a hand up to touch the red streaks. Where had they come from? Bleached by the sun? That was stupid, the streaks weren't there that morning. 

She sighed. Maybe no one would notice. Red and brown went together quite well anyway, and if she didn't stand immediately under the sun, the red streaks – which were still soft and blended well into the brown – wouldn't be too obvious. 

"Nevermind, the tensai looks gorgeous no matter what colour her hair!" Miyuki told her reflection, then went off for dinner. 

***** 

The next day started pretty much like the one before. Miyuki took her long strides to school, popping bubbles all the way, head tilting this way and that to a tune that kept repeating itself inside her head. She wondered briefly whether she'd see the tall dark-haired basketball boy, then told herself it would be better if she didn't, because she wasn't particularly looking forward to having another head-splitting headache. 

Everything went on fine and dandy, until she finally arrived on campus. She had been craning her neck on the lookout for her newmade friends of the gundam, when she suddenly slammed against someone rushing in the opposite direction. 

"Watch where you're going!" Miyuki shouted. 

The boy she had run into, whose hairdo resembled a muffin, glared it her. "_You _watch it! Baka…" 

"What did you call me?" Miyuki half-screamed, raising her hands automatically into fists. Ah, the rush of the fight, even if she was in school… The boy seemed to think the same way, and flexed his wrists quietly. 

"Ryota, stop it!" 

Miyuki turned to see a rather angry-looking girl with curly brown hair rushing toward them. The muffin boy's face had gone strangely pink, and he said in a much softer voice, "Aya-chan." 

"He started it!" Miyuki protested, pointing at the muffin boy. "Cannot see where he's going, bumping into a girl… So rude!" 

"What kind of girl are you?" the muffin boy shouted back. "Not a girl at all, if you ask me…" 

"What?!" Miyuki started to fly toward the muffin boy when the gundam appeared out of nowhere and simultaneously held her back by her arms. "Woi!" 

"Miyuki-san!" Yohei admonished. 

The muffin boy scowled. "Mito-san, you know her?" 

"She's a friend," Yohei said, carefully waving his arms in a peaceful gesture. "No problem." 

"He started it!" Miyuki screeched. 

"I did not, _you _bumped into _me_!" 

"What's going on here?" Another innocent new voice entered the fray, this one a girl's. 

Miyuki slowly turned her head, and saw a really pretty girl with shoulder-length brown hair. Her bright brown eyes were looking from person to person with nothing but innocent curiosity in her face. Something in Miyuki's heart _flipped_. 

"Gomen," Miyuki said, looking as bewildered as she felt. She had no idea why she suddenly felt all embarrassed or why her blood had suddenly decided to rush to her face. "Uh, uh… I think I'll be going to class now." She ran off, leaving a smoke trail in her wake. 

Everyone watched her leave with general sweatdrops. 

"What was that?" Miyagi asked. 

"I have no idea," said Yohei, although the expression on his face suggested that he was having at least a few ideas. He slowly looked from Miyuki's disappearing form to the pretty brown-haired girl. "Haruko-san, do you know her?" 

"No," said Haruko, shaking her head. "Never saw her before." 

"That's the Miyuki I was telling you about," Fuji said, appearing behind Haruko. "The new girl in my class, remember?" 

"Oh," said Haruko. "She seems familiar, doesn't she?" 

_Very_. Yohei drew his eyebrows together, wondering whether he dared confront the strange questions that had been circulating his head. _Not possible… _He looked at the others. They wouldn't understand, and would probably tell him that he was still missing his best friend and that he was seeing things that weren't there. _But what if I'm seeing things that are meant to be seen?_

Yohei turned to leave when he spotted a familiar tall dark-haired boy casually leaning against a nearby wall. He had been watching the proceedings, and when the group began to disperse, he too turned to leave. Ah, so even the Ice King had noticed, eh? 

Not one to lose a possible accomplice, Yohei ran after him. "Oi, Rukawa-san!" 

***** 

Miyuki was grateful that the expected headache didn't come. But she was feeling very confused all throughout class, which was very bad because it meant that she could barely concentrate (not that she ever really concentrated anyway, but at least she was usually able to fake it). Miyuki was pretty sure she'd never met the brown-haired girl before, but still… 

Whispering carefully when the teacher had his back turned, Fuji managed to tell her that her name was Akagi Haruko. 

_Akagi. Haruko_. Both names meant something. Miyuki cursed mentally at her own inability to point out what that something was, and idly twirled a pencil in her longer fingers. 

"She's the assistant manager of the school's basketball team," Fuji added in another soft whisper. 

Miyuki nodded. Basketball again. What was it with basketball? She had never liked the game. True, she had never played it either, but she was already a volleyball tensai, so that other game wasn't worth her time. So the tall bike boy was a basketball player, Haruko was the assistant team manger… Next thing she knew that muffin boy and the curly-haired girl were also involved, and that _would _be peachy, wouldn't it? 

The image of Haruko appeared in her head, surrounded by mysterious sparkly pink stars. 

The pencil went flying and hit the teacher's head. 

The teacher, whose name Miyuki still couldn't be bothered to remember, turned slowly, a vein pulsating on his temple. "Who did that?!" 

Miyuki faked the best innocent look she could, bambi eyes and all. 

The teacher slowly turned back round to face the blackboard to continue writing, but he was still shaking angrily. Miyuki clasped her hands together, not trusting herself to handle stationery at the moment. Maybe she could ask Yohei about it. 

***** 

During lunch time when Miyuki finally did meet up with the rest of the gundam, she realised that she also had the problem of not knowing what question she should be asking. She scratched her head a bit. 

"What, Miyuki-san?" Yohei asked, leaning toward her a bit. "You want to ask something?" 

"Uh, hai." Miyuki thought about it again. 

"It's about Haruko-san?" Yohei pressed. 

"H-hai." 

"She's the assistant manager of the basketball team," said Yohei. 

"…" 

"She's very pretty, yar?" 

"…" 

"Want to go see the basketball practice after class?" 

"Err… Maybe… Maybe another time?" 

Yohei grinned. "If you say so." 


	3. Part 3

**Identity Crisis**   
**Her Version**

by Annie D   
the_80s_chick@lycos.com   
  


PART 3 

  
  


A week passed. Miyuki had successfully pushed aside as many of the strange thoughts that had clustered in her brain, ranging from the need to find Haruko-san, pinch the muffin boy and beat up the tall bike boy. There were other things, including completely unrelated mental imagery that she found disarming, like the strange vision of a flying white paper fan that popped into her head whenever she saw the curly-haired girl. 

She told herself that all the strange thoughts didn't matter, because she had the gundam whom were practically becoming family. They hung out regularly, always finding something to do or some gang to beat up, which was always fun. 

What she never did, however, was join them when they went to watch basketball practice. 

"Why do you care? You're not on the team," Miyuki asked them. 

"Haruko-chan is a friend," said Takamiya. 

"Although I do admit that watching the team hasn't been as much fun since…" Noma's voice trailed off. "You know." 

"No, what?" Miyuki asked eagerly, peeking her ears out. 

The four looked at each other. "We rather not talk about it," Yohei said finally. 

"Why?" Miyuki sighed. 

"Maybe soon," said Yohei. "But not yet." 

Miyuki growled in frustration, flapping her arms wildly. "You people are so frustrating! What's so interesting about a stupid game?" 

"You play volleyball, don't you?" Yohei argued. 

Miyuki flushed. "Used to." 

"Why did you quit?" Ohkosu asked. 

Miyuki shrugged. "Lost interest." 

"Then maybe you should give basketball a chance!" Yohei said cheerfully. 

"Gak!" Miyuki half-punched him in the shoulder. "Stupid." 

"How do you know?" Yohei asked, draping an arm around her shoulder. "Basketball is very interesting. Haruko-chan could introduce you to the game and all… Would that be fun? How about it?" 

Miyuki drew her lips together. "Um… Maybe." 

"Good!" said Yohei, thumping Miyuki so hard on the back that she fell off the bench they were sitting on. "We'll go to practice tomorrow together!" 

Miyuki jumped to her feet. "Why did you push me like that? You dare push the tensai?!" 

Yohei laughed. "You are so weak, Miyuki, that was hardly a push." 

"You!" Miyuki growled. 

"You are just a girl, after all," said Takamiya, twiddling his thumbs together. 

"Nani?! Just a girl?!" 

A vocal intra-gundam fight erupted, and Yohei smiled gently as he quietly stayed out of it. It was just like the old days, and at that thought he rubbed his palms together. _Tomorrow should be interesting… _It had taken time, but he'd been watching her carefully, and each minute served only to strengthen the theory that had been forming in his head. But unless Miyuki was willing, they'd never be sure. What they needed, he knew, was a _trigger_. 

***** 

And so the next day after class, the gundam with their newest brown-and-red-haired member went to the gym to watch the Shohoku High basketball team practice their thing. Yohei explained that the Inter High eliminations were less than two weeks to go (although their actual first game would be much later on) and they were practising hard to maintain their ranking as the second best team in the Kanagawa prefecture. 

A twinge of pride flichered in Miyuki's heart. _The second best team…_

"Ooooo…" Miyuki watched as a tall boy with thin spectacles and a ponytail made a beautiful three-point shot. 

"Hey, what's she doing here?!" a familiar voice shouted at them. 

Miyuki turned to see the muffin man in basketball attire stomping toward them. Miyuki glared right back. "What's a shortie like you doing in the basketball team?" 

The boy's left eye twitched horribly. "I. Am. The. Captain." 

Miyuki stared. Then she laughed hysterically, tears streaming down her face. "Hahahahahaha! You? Captain? How sad! Hahahahahaha!" 

A vein started to throb in the boy's temple. "You…" 

"Ahahaha!" Yohei laughed nervously, waving his hands between the two. "Miyagi-san, don't be upset, she just wanted to see your famous basketball team." 

"Famous? With a shortie captain like that? Nyahahahahahaha!" 

"You're Takemoto-san, right?" 

*_piku_* Miyuki stared at the pretty girl Haruko-san that had appeared in front of her. "Uh, hai." In the background, two of the other players were slowly dragging a steaming Miyagi back onto court. 

"Do you play basketball?" Haruko asked. 

Miyuki's blood turned to ice. *_Do you play basketball?_* She did not notice how Yohei was watching her closely. 

"No," Miyuki managed to say. 

"Oh, I'm sure you'll love the game anyway," said Haruko, smiling. "I'm Akagi Haruko, the assistant manager. Come on in, I'll show you around." 

Haruko grabbed Miyuki's hand and half-dragged her into the gym, causing Miyuki to start blushing for no apparent reason while the rest of the gundam (*_sweatdrop_*) looked at each other and then just followed. 

Fuji, the curly-haired girl and another girl with a pair of ponytails were by the bench, along with an old man white hair and glinting spectacles. 

"Uh… Konnichiwa," Miyuki said, bowing slightly before them. "I'm Takemoto Miyuki, pleased to meet you." 

"This is Ayako, our team manager," said Haruko, gesturing to the girl with the curly hair, who stood up and smiled warmly. "And this is our coach, Anzai-sensei." 

"You finally made it, Miyuki-san," said Fuji. "Come watch." 

"Fuji has told us all about you," said the girl with ponytails. "I'm Akemi." 

"She sure has," Ayako said, eyes flitting to Fuji with some amusement. "Have a seat." 

"Oh-okay." Miyuki plopped down on the bench alongside the rest of the girls. "I can't say I know much about basketball, though…" 

"That doesn't really matter," said Haruko, whose eyes were sparkling in excitement. "We're getting ready for the Inter High games, and we're going to be seeded in one of the blocks because we made the Best Four in Kanagawa last year, you know. We did so well last year, but I'm sure we'll do just as well… no, we'll do even _better_, this year!" 

"Ah. Hai." Miyuki nodded dumbly. Damn blush was getting in the way of the smooth operator. 

"Last year we had my oniichan, as well as Mitsui-san and Kogure-san, and they were all such good players," said Haruko. "But there are good freshmen this year as well, like Nakajima-san and Nori-san." 

"Don't forget that the sophomores have improved greatly," added Ayako. 

On and on Haruko chatted eagerly, more than happy to have a new pair of ears to listen to all the updates and information that everyone else already knew about. She hardly noticed how Miyuki had started trembling, first at her fingers, and then slowly up her arms… Haruko's enthusiastic chattering blurred off as her attention focused itself on the court. 

The squeaking of shoes on the polished floor. The rhythm of a ball being bounced. The slap of a ball being passed. The swish of a ball sliding through the net. 

She _knew _this. 

Miyuki opened her mouth suddenly. "I play." 

All eyes on the bench turned to her. 

"What?" Haruko asked. 

"I play basketball," Miyuki said, standing up. 

"Huh?" Haruko said. 

Miyuki swallowed, then slowly sat back down. "Nothing. Sorry. I meant volleyball. I play volleyball." 

"Oh!" Haruko smiled. "Your height is good for that, too. You're so tall! For a girl, I mean." 

_You're so tall!_

There was the inexplicable feeling of deja-vu. Miyuki shivered again. 

"Miyuki, are you okay?" Yohei asked softly, leaning close to her. "Is something wrong?" 

Miyuki shook her head quicky, trying to watch the boys practising in front of her. Basketball… She'd never played, she'd never seen a game, she'd never _cared_. Yet… 

_Let me play, oyaji!___

_Concentrate on the game!___

_He who controls the rebounds controls the game!___

_National champions!_

Miyuki shut her eyes and half-leaned forward, breathing deeply. Great, she was hallucinating. She didn't know which was worse, imagining things that couldn't have possibly happened, or having a skull-splitting headache. 

Just then, she felt something hit her foot. Miyuki opened her eyes and looked down to see a ball resting gently against her left foot, and when she looked up she saw the captain, Miyagi, looking at her dubiously. He started to walk toward her to fetch the ball, but Miyuki took it and stood up. 

Throw it? Nah. Miyuki slowly walked onto court, keeping eye contact of the muffin boy Miyagi. He was glaring at her, but the look turned uncertain as she approached him. 

"Your ball, shortie," she said, tossing it to him. 

"Hmph," Miyagi grunted, turning away. 

Feeling like the world had fallen away in a blur, Miyuki raised her head, just realising that she was standing on a basketball court. The two hoops on either side, high and practically glowing like halos in the sunlight. _Players running and jumping and shouting at each other. Sweat and tears, laughter and head-bashing (head-bashing?!), cheers and celebration._ It all passed her by like echoes of a distant memory. 

"Sakuragi!" 

Miyuki's head snapped around sharply, and her hands jumped up to automatically (and effortlessly) catch the ball that had been thrown straight at her chest. The one who'd thrown it was none other than the tall bike boy with the expressionless face. 

"Stupid kitsune!" she snarled, waving a fist at him. 

Somebody gasped. Miyuki turned to see most of them gaping at her. 

"Nani?! What's wrong with all of you?" 

Haruko took a few cautious steps toward her. She had clasped her hands to her mouth as though in horror. "Why did you answer his call?" 

"Huh?" Miyuki asked. 

"He called you Sakuragi," said Yohei, walking onto the court toward her. "And you responded." 

"And you called him kitsune," said Ayako. 

Miyuki blinked. _Sakuragi… _Wasn't that the name of the boy that had…? Miyuki shook the thought away. But as for kitsune… "Well, he looks like a kitsune," she said, shrugging. 

"But Sakuragi…?" Haruko asked. "This is not funny, Takemoto-san." 

_Sakuragi. Saved my life at such a cost... _She knew that name as well as her own, but at that moment, hearing Haruko say the name with that soft familiar voice of hers, something was switched on deep at the back of her mind… something she hadn't realised had been hiding there. Miyuki looked down at the basketball and dropped it quickly. 

"Stupid basketball," she muttered. "I am tensai Takemoto Miyuki, volleyball player! Not basketball player!" 

"Tensai…?" Miyagi muttered. 

"Well, I am the tensai!" Miyuki laughed, glaring at him. "You should know that, Ryocchin!" 

Miyagi froze. "What did you call me?" 

Miyuki stared back. _Ryocchin. _Was that his name? Where had it come from? She had certainly never met him before, she'd know, right? Miyuki stared down at her own hands, and they suddenly looked so small. Weren't her hands bigger? Harsher? 

More images slammed into her head, more determined now than ever to make their presence known. Miyuki reached up to press down the headache. 

"Are you okay?" Haruko asked. 

Miyuki stared at her with wide eyes. "Haruko-san." Her eyes flicked across the people whose faces somehow stood out to her. "Ayako-sempai. Yasuda. Kakuta. Shiozaki. Ishii. Oyaji." She had no idea whether those really were their names, but judging from their shocked responses, they probably were. 

_How do know these people? I've never met them before!_

In a panic, she stared to back away to the door. 

"Sakuragi Hanamichi!" Yohei shouted. 

In a mesh of flailing arms, Miyuki fell down, face first making contact with the floor with a loud bang. Slowly, she got up and found Yohei standing over her, looking very worried. Reaching out silently, she picked him up by the collar and headbutted him. She had never done it before, but it felt _right_. 

Tossing the boy aside, Miyuki said softly, "My name is Takemoto Miyuki." And she ran away. 

***** 

Miyuki wandered around the town for a long time afterward, feeling confused and alone and suffering from yet another pounding headache. It felt like something was trying to get her attention, by force if necessary. 

Walking blindly, Miyuki suddenly found herself at the same basketball court she had seen the bike boy Rukawa playing at the week earlier. She stepped into it and looked up at the hoop. 

"Stupid basketball," she muttered. 

_Do you play basketball?_

Miyuki's body turned cold again as Haruko's voice echoed in her head. _Do you play basketball? You're so tall!_

She plopped right down on her butt as more voices entered her head. _You really shouldn't bang your head like that. Look at the funny kid with the red hair! Pay attention to the game! Stupid red-headed monkey! Do'aho. You think you're so tough? Your father passed away last night. We'll go to Shohoku together and rule! Five fouls, you're out! Hana-kun, I'm sorry for what happened…_

Miyuki felt the tears long before she realised she was crying. Achingly slow, she crouched into a kneeling ball and sobbed softly. 

A hand touched her shoulder. Miyuki looked up into the face of Yohei, looking more concerned than ever. 

She knew what was wrong now. Memories were in her head, all of them belonging to someone else, and that someone was Sakuragi Hanamich, the boy that had saved her life. That's what the pounding meant: Sakuragi had been in her head, wanting to break out. It was as though he was fighting to take over her own identity, and seeing how her life had been ruined at her old school, he seemed to be succeeding. But why? For what purpose? 

She whispered brokenly, "What's happening to me?" 

***** 

"I have a theory," Yohei told the members of the emergency meeting in the Shohoku gym, who were in no particular order: the gundam, Haruko, Ayako, Miyagi and Rukawa. 

"Which is?" Ayako asked. 

"Hanamichi's spirit is partially possessing Miyuki-san," he said. "He has unfinished business." 

"Like what?" Miyagi asked. "He still wants to win the Inter High is it? Or is it…" His eyes flicked briefly to Haruko, who did not notice. Yohei shrugged. 

"How can you be sure?" Haruko asked softly. Her eyes were brimming with tears. "How can you be sure she's not bluffing? That this is all some trick to—to… Sakuragi-kun is dead! He is!" 

Ayako hugged Haruko, who started bawling uncontrollably. 

"I've known Sakuragi since first year of Junior High," said Yohei. "He was my best friend. He had this aura about him, I can't explain it, that no one else has. But here, Miyuki has it! She knows things, and acts a certain way…" 

"Hai, hai," agreed Takamiya, Noma and Ohkosu. 

"But she seems as confused about it," said Ayako, who was patting Haruko's head comfortingly. 

"She doesn't understand what's happening to her, either," said Yohei. "But what's important is this… I just found this out from her." 

"What?" Miyagi asked. 

"Remember that Hanamichi died saving a girl from an oncoming truck?" Yohei asked. 

A shudder passed through the group, minus Rukawa who was still stoic as usual. 

Yohei continued, "Well, the girl he saved is none other than Miyuki." 

Another pass of silence. 

"Unfinished business." 

All eyes turned to Rukawa in surprise. There was no evidence that it was really him that had spoken, because he was looking down at the floor, apparently inasmuch deep thoughts as someone like Rukawa was able to get into without falling asleep. 

Ayako then said, "A witch doctor?" 

"Can you think of anything better?" Yohei asked. 

Haruko hastily wiped her tears. "We go. As soon as possible." 

"Can you handle…?" 

"I can!" Haruko said quickly. "We must let Sakuragi-kun rest in peace." 


	4. Part 4

**Identity Crisis**   
**Her Version**

by Annie D   
the_80s_chick@lycos.com   


PART 4 

  
  


Miyuki stared at her reflection in the mirror. There were more red streaks winding through her hair and she felt tempted to chop them off, hair by hair if necessary. 

Red was a horrid colour, she decided. It brought unwanted attention and created inaccurate preconceptions about her. Not that she didn't like attention, which liked very much in fact, but she wanted the attention because of her _abilities_, not because of her physical appearance. 

"K'so…" she muttered, fingering the red streaks. "Sakuragi, why are you giving me red hair?" 

The talk she had had with Yohei the previous day had calmed her down considerably. Yohei had explained his theory to her, and it fit pretty well with what Miyuki had been experiencing since she first recovered from the accident. Sakuragi had been in her head, probably with unfinished business, and he had guided her back to Shohoku (kinda sorta) for some reason she couldn't quite figure out yet. 

"I am so kawaii already!" Miyuki told her reflection. "I don't need red hair!" 

The door creaked open, and the soft patter of shoes indicated the entrance of another into the school's third floor girl's bathroom. Miyuki drew her eyes away from her red streaks reflected in the mirror, and saw that standing behind her was none other than Akagi Haruko. 

"Ha-Haruko-san!" Miyuki stammered, whirling around. 

Haruko smiled wistfully. "You even sound like him." 

Miyuki bent her head to stare at the floor. "I'm sorry about the scene I made in the gym yesterday. I… I don't know what's going on, really." 

"Yohei-kun told us his theory," Haruko said. A little timidly, Haruko stepped up to Miyuki to look into her eyes. Miyuki didn't know what she was looking for, but she must have seen something because she suddenly turned away and said, "You better get to class." 

"H-hai…" Miyuki slowly made her way to the door. "Um… Haruko-san?" 

"Hm?" 

"I'm sorry about everything," Miyuki said. "Sakuragi died to save my life. I know he was your good friend, and this must be really difficult—" 

To Miyuki's horror, Haruko's eyes were starting to flood with tears. Miyuki waved her hands quickly. "No, no, no! Sorry! Please don't cry!" 

Haruko blinked quickly and forced a smile. "Yes, Sakuragi-kun was a very good friend. And if he's in you, I want to make sure he gets done whatever he wants done as soon as possible. Do you agree?" 

Miyuki nodded. 

"We are going to the witch doctor after school today," Haruko said. "Is that okay?" 

"Yes. Of course." 

Haruko nodded, then took one last look at Miyuki before walking past her out of the washroom. 

Miyuki swallowed, then sighed with relief. She had been afraid that Haruko was going to be angry with her, because she was almost certainly responsible for Sakuragi's death, and hurting Haruko was the last thing she wanted to do at the moment. 

Adjusting her ponytail one last time, Miyuki stepped out of the girl's bathroom and headed for class. 

As she passed by a classroom, a hand grabbed her wrist and tugged her back sharply. 

"Eeeep! Nani?!" Miyuki spun around and was face to face (or more accurately, eye to chin) with the tall bike boy, and his name jumped out at her from the depths of her confused memory: Rukawa. That flare of anger and annoyance burst inside her, and she tilted her head up to glare at him. "What do you want? Oh I know, you're worried that the tensai's unfinished business would be to get the better of you! Your competition is back so you're worried! Isn't that it?" 

Rukawa looked at her for a moment, then _hmphed _under his breath and turned to walk away. 

"Don't walk away from the tensai, kitsune!" Miyuki shouted, and she rolled her sleeves back in preparation for a physical assault on the tall boy. 

"What did you call our Rukawa?!" Shrieks of a dozen girls momentarily defeaned Miyuki, and she found herself being bodily lifted, carried and thrown down another corridor. 

"How dare you touch our Rukawa!" 

"Who do you think you are?" 

"He's ours!" 

Miyuki blinked up dazedly at the leader trio of the gang who were standing side by side in front of their little pigtail-wearing mascara-applying army. They were glaring down at her as though she were some sort of really disgusting bug, and the three leader girls each had a blouse over their uniform, one sketched with "RU", the middle with "KA" and the third with "WA". 

The girlie mob shouted a few more idle threats at Miyuki before bolting back down the corridor. 

Miyuki scowled daggers at the floor. "Stupid kitsune. No wonder Sakuragi couldn't stand him." 

A hand reached out to help her. Miyuki looked up and saw that the hand belonged to Yohei, so she took it gratefully. 

"The Rukawa Brigade giving you trouble?" Yohei chuckled. 

"It was the kistune's fault," Miyuki said, brushing herself off. "I didn't even do anything! Pssh. Don't know what his problem is. Oh, might as well go to class. See you after school, okay?" She waved at Yohei and then bounded off down the corridor. 

Yohei watched her leave, then sighed. "She's as clueless as Hanamichi." 

***** 

Classes were over. Miyuki had made a quick pitstop at home to change into her casual clothes before returning to the troupe that had gathered for the trip to the witch doctor. Although it was a given that the gundam would be going, Miyuki was rather surprised that Haruko, Ayako, Miyagi and _Rukawa _were also going. 

"Why is he here?" Miyuki whispered to Yohei. 

"I have no idea," said Yohei, widening his eyes in an innocent gesture. "But don't start a fight now, okay Miyuki. You know Haruko-san…" he trailed off and sighed. 

Miyuki nodded, figuring out that Haruko still had that ridiculous crush on Rukawa. And as Haruko was still upset about the whole Sakuragi thing, Miyuki figured that she ought to shut her mouth just this once. 

The party was quiet. Yohei and the rest of the gundam were leading the way, since they were the ones who knew where the witch doctor's place was. Miyuki walked just behind them, hands in pockets and eyes kept forward. Haruko walked just slightly behind/beside Miyuki, every now and then taking careful glances at her. Ayako and Miyagi walked behind them, also carefully watching Miyuki. Rukawa trailed the rear, and to their general surprise he didn't fallen asleep anytime during the way (except once when they had to stop for the traffic light). 

"Sakuragi-kun?" Haruko whispered. 

"Hai?" Miyuki answered without thinking. Then she flushed and quickened her pace. "Gomen." 

Miyagi also quickened his pace until he was right beside Miyuki. He narrowed his eyes up at her. "What is that baka doing in your head?" 

"Don't call him a baka!" Miyuki snapped, slowing down to glare at Miyagi. "He was the tensai! TENSAI!" She poked him hard in the forehead. 

Miyagi stared. "He really _is _in there, isn't he?" 

Miyuki looked away. "I guess." She shrugged. "I don't know." 

Suddenly Miyuki stumbled forward with a loud shriek, a foot having made hard contact with her rear end. She scrambled off the pavement and glared at the guilty perpetrator, who happened to be Rukawa. 

"What's your problem, kitsune?!" Miyuki shouted. 

"You're holding up the group," he shrugged, walking past her. 

"Aieeee!" Miyuki screeched, ready to launch herself at him. A sharp _THWACK!_ of contact between a paper fan and her head stopped her. She rubbed her head and looked at Ayako. "What was that for?" 

Ayako flushed, and pulled the fan off Miyuki's head. "Force of habit." Haruko looked like she was about to cry again. 

"I don't even know why he bothered coming," Miyuki muttered, glaring at Rukawa's back. "He doesn't even count as Sakuragi's friend, righ?" 

"Are you coming or not?!" Yohei shouted from quite far off. 

"Hai!" Miyuki called, running after them with the rest of the group quickly following. 

They finally reached the place. There wasn't any point in describing it beyond its oldish house-hut form, with one too many stray animals wandering outside. Miyuki wouldn't even be able to describe the way to get there. 

Yohei told them to wait while he went inside first. After a while he came back out and said, "Miyuki, you go in." 

Miyuki entered. The place was much bigger on the inside that it looked on the outside, and it smelt vaguely of dried fish and old banana skins. Faced with a black curtain, she carefully pulled it aside to find a small circular table with two chairs, and in the one facing her sat a wrinkled old woman dressed in a kimono three times her size. 

"Sit, Takemoto Miyuki," said the old woman. Miyuki sat on the other chair. "So, Takemoto. You believe the spirit of the dead Sakuragi Hanamichi is in your head?" 

"Uh… I have no idea, really. It's Yohei's theory." 

"Put your hands on this talisman," said the old woman, gesturing at a gold object in the middle of the table. 

_Looks like a glorified spoon_, thought Miyuki, and when the old woman glared at her, she wondered whether the old biddy could read thoughts. She put her hands on the talisman anyway. 

"Close your eyes." 

Miyuki did as she was told. The talisman was cold under her fingers and started vibrating gently, although that last bit was probably just her imagination. The old woman began muttering soft words she couldn't make out, and she got the feeling that even if she could she wouldn't understand what they meant. 

There was a feeling of lift, floating, detachment, as though she were being drawn from her body. It felt kinda nice. 

And then… 

_Sakuragi Hanamichi!_

Miyuki jerked as she felt a cold hand pass through her. 

_Sakuragi Hanamichi!_

Miyuki stared into the darkness, not knowing whether she really was only looking into the back of her eyelids or something else entirely. 

_Takemoto Miyuki… _She recognised this voice as that of the old woman. 

_Hai?___

_Are you alone?___

_I think so. Wherever this is.___

_I am going to search through you. Don't be afraid.___

_The tensai is never afraid!_

If it were possible to sweatdrop in the spiritual plane, the old woman managed it. The searching began, and the same cold hand swept through Miyuki, slowly and deliberately in its meticulous search. 

The old lady spoke again. _Who are you?_

Miyuki answered. _Takemoto Miyuki._

_Who are you?___

_Takemoto Miyuki.___

_Who ARE YOU?___

_Takemoto Miyuki._

Pause. _Who were you?___

_Sakuragi Hanamichi. _Miyuki shrieked at her own unexpected answer. _Gomen, I didn't mean to say that…___

_No, you did. You cannot lie here.___

_Nani?_

She felt the old woman smile in the darkness. _You are Sakuragi Hanamichi. Or, to be more accurate, you were._

Miyuki's spiritual mouth gaped open. _I don't understand…___

_It is simple. You were Sakuragi Hanamichi in your past life.___

_Nyeh? I'm sixteen years old, lady. Sakuragi Hanamichi died four and a half months ago.___

_Your body may be sixteen, but *you* are four and a half months old. At the accident, both of you were injured. By that link of sacrifice, and because both of you died at the exact same time eight days later, something strange happened. Miyuki, the old Miyuki, left her body for you. You should have died for her, but instead she died for you.___

_Could it be just some cosmic mix-up?___

_That's possible, too, but it's more romantic to think that Miyuki died for you, ne? Giving up her body for you to be reincarnated in her place…___

_But then… Why all the memories? I have memories of being Miyuki and all that.___

_With the body automatically came the memories of the old Takemoto Miyuki. But memories alone cannot shape a person. You, Sakuragi Hanamichi, and your soul is very different from hers. It would not conform to the memories she had. You were not happy living old Miyuki's life, and because of that you subconsciously sought out your true life and your true friends.___

_… Wah, I am the tensai after all!___

_*spiritual plane sweatdrop*___

_So I basically switched bodies with the old Miyuki.___

_Yes.___

_Does she mind?_

Pause. _No. There is no anger. Only a willingness. She let you have her body.___

_But why?___

_Who knows…?_

There was another pause as Miyuki (aka new Miyuki / Sakuragi reincarnated) thought about it. _So I was a guy, and I'm a girl now?___

_Looks that way.___

_Wow. And I thought I was going crazy. Nice to know the person inside my head is myself, ne?___

_Comforting.___

_I am the tensai no matter what gender! Woo hoo! Can I go back now?_

There was a sensation of falling, and then nothing. Miyuki slowly pried her eyes open, blinked a few times and then looked down at the table to see that her fingers were pressed tightly against the talisman. Cautiously, she pulled her fingers free. 

Miyuki grinned. "I understand now." 

"You will need something to complete the transition, since you have already begun it," said the old woman. "Something strong that will trigger the return of all of your memories. Then, Takemoto Miyuki, you will have your new life to live." 

"That's it." 

"Hai." 

"Wah." Miyuki rocked in her chair a bit. "My friends are outside. How can I explain to them that I am the reincarnation of their dead friend? I mean… It was probably as much a shock as when I – I mean Sakuragi – I mean… GAK!" Her eyes crossed from her efforts to understand the situation. "See, even I don't get all of it!" 

The woman cursed under her breath, although she was half-laughing. "Go out the back way. I'll explain it to them myself." 

Miyuki stood up, barely able to contain the wide grin on her lips. "You know… I finally feel complete. I was feeling so lost the past few months." 

The old woman nodded. "Welcome to the world. No many people get the second chance you have, so you better make the most of it." 

"Damn sure I will," Miyuki nodded. "And by the way, what shall I call myself? I mean, I can't use my old name Sakuragi Hanamichi since he's officially dead, and Miyuki isn't my name either." 

The old woman snorted, but not unkindly. "You'll figure it out." 

"Chih." Miyuki bowed deeply anyway. "Doumo arigato, old woman." She turned to leave. 

"Woi, aren't you going to pay?!" 

***** 

The old woman gave Miyuki a two-minute head start before calling for her friends to enter the hut for their debriefing. 

"Takemoto Miyuki _is _Sakuragi Hanamichi," the old woman told them. "Your friend was reincarnated in Takemoto Miyuki's body." She proceeded to explain about the memories et cetera. 

For a long while nobody said anything, and the silence was broken when Haruko finally burst into tears. 

"So Sakuragi is… alive?" Yohei breathed. 

"No, Sakuragi is dead," the old woman corrected. "He's just been reborn in Takemoto's body." 

"Isn't that the same thing?" Miyagi asked. 

"No, it isn't," the old woman snapped. "You kids are always so slow to understand." 

Eight pairs of eyes stared at her. 

"So… where is she? He? She?" Yohei frowned. "He?" 

"She," the old woman grumbled. "She's left already. There's one last thing she needed to do." 

For a long while nobody said anything. Haruko stopped crying and slowly digested exactly what the old lady had said. She whispered, "Sakuragi's alive." 

"Sort of," Ayako said, but she was close to tears, too. Mourning Sakuragi had been a horrible time for all of them, and although it was shocking to know that he had somehow come back, once the shock wore off they'd be able to see that the insufferable arrogant idiot whom was also their close and fiercely loyal friend was with them once again. _A miracle. Or cosmic mix-up, but miracle sounds nicer._

"Sakuragi was given a second chance, by powers even I don't understand," the old woman said solemnly. "Now he… _she_ has a rough idea of what has taken place, hopefully from now on things will be less complicated." 

Takamiya was the next to speak. "Doesn't this mean that Hanamichi is now…" 

The gundam plus Miyagi chorused, "A GIRL!" 

They all bowed their thank you's as they started to file out of the room. 

The old woman then shouted after them, "Hey, aren't you going to pay?!" 

***** 

Later. It was night, but Miyuki had wandered onto the Shohoku High campus alone to use the basketball court, which also had the lighting means for her to walk around. (Padlocks? Heh, no problem for the tensai!) 

While Sakuragi's memories were still scattered, Miyuki knew that he had been playing basketball for a year. Not a long time as far as the game was concerned, but it was his raw _love _for the game that had triggered the return of the memories in the first place. So she figured it was right that she relive her life in the gym where it all started. 

She didn't have his red jersey, but she pictured it in her head, the number 10 clearly printed on it. She didn't have basketball shoes either, but neither had Sakuragi when he first started. It was like going full circle. 

Miyuki took a basketball from a rack in the corner, and idly rolled it in her hands. 

She stood on the court. 

Completely devoid of any human company, and with only the sound of her own shoes against the floorboards to fill in the emptiness, Miyuki's world faded away as Sakuragi's opened up. 

_Hana-kun, did you get into trouble again? _Sakuragi's mother. 

_That boy is such a hard-head! _His father. 

Miyuki half-shut her eyes as memories of Sakuragi's childhood appeared to her, and this time she didn't try to fight it – perhaps that was why this time there weren't any bad headaches. 

Head-butting the other kids at kindergarten who had laughed at his hair… Getting into his first fight at 5 and winning it… Being scolded again and again by his father… His mother would always be watchful and quiet… School was a blur, he had few friends… Always got into trouble, slept in class… 

"Yohei," Miyuki muttered, remembering their first meeting. Yohei had been his first real friend, and best friend. The others of the gundam had joined not too long after, becoming his buddies, his brothers. They had been there for him when his father had dided. They had laughed together, fought together, sometimes cried together. 

Slowly, Miyuki started to bounce the ball, and bouncing soon turned to dribbling. She started cautiously , since her current hands had never actually handled a basketball before. 

_We're going to Shohoku High together! We'll rule the school! Of course, with the tensai leading you, no one will mess with us! Hahahahahahahaha!_

Then that girl, Haruko… _Do you play basketball?_

"Haruko-san," said Miyuki, tripping slightly on her own feet. It was her that had introduced him to basketball, as well to the hope that perhaps one day he'd find… Miyuki pushed that line of thought aside for a moment, wanting to get through the rest of the memories first. 

"Kitsune… Gori… Megane-kun… Ayako-san… Oyaji…" 

Miyuki paused, held the ball in her two hands and looked up to see that she had stopped right in front of one of the hoops. She backed up a bit, jumped and executed a rather messy lay-up. The fact that it went in on her first try was good enough for her, so she leaned back with her hands on her hips and laughed. "King under the basket! Hahahahahaha…" 

The more recent memories were more vivid and came faster, following the events of the previous year with the Kanagawa trials, other adventures he'd had with the team, the final pivotal Sannoh game… 

Miyuki shrieked suddenly, recalling all too clearly the memory of the sharp pain that had struck Sakuragi's back. She fell backward, collapsing on the floor with no tensai grace whatsoever. She shut her eyes, remembering the disappointment and the helplessness of that moment… He had been having treatment, and was on the way to getting better but… but… 

She saw herself – or to be more precise, the old Takemoto Miyuki, stumbling on the road. There was a truck coming! What else could she do but run out there and… 

All went black. 

***** 

Rukawa stepped out of hiding place within the shadows of one corner of the gym, blue eyes regarding the fallen girl. He slowly walked toward her, and he raised his eyebrows briefly when he saw her hair. It was no longer brown streaked with red, but just pure fiery red. 

He sat down next to her and looked up at the gym ceiling for a while. Then he looked down at her again, and reached out a hand to gently push aside a few strands of loose red hair from tickling her nose. 

"Welcome back, Sakuragi," he whispered. 

***** 

_You cannot die.___

_Why? Why did you do this?___

_Why do you think?___

_You have as much right as I do to live.___

_No. I was meant to die that day, like you are meant to live now.___

_Not a cosmic mix-up?___

_No, Sakuragi.___

_Sakura.___

_What?___

_Sakura. My name's Sakura. It reflects who I was, and who I am.___

_Ah, poetic.___

_Of course, I'm the tensai.___

_… Right._

_And thank you. For everything.___

_Thank me by living your life to the fullest.___

_I will._

***** 

And so it came to pass that Takemoto Sakura (although officially her given name was still Miyuki), reincarnation of the tensai Sakuragi Hanamichi, came to be. On the floor of gym after the flooding of memories, she woke up about an hour later alone and unaware that Rukawa had been sitting with her the whole time and had only left when she had started to stir out of her sleep. 

Sakura returned home to a rather concerned mother, whose eyes had practically popped out of their sockets when she saw her daughter's new firey-red hair. But everything was feeling so perfect, so right, and that was the best thing she could have ever possibly asked for. She was back with her friends and she sure as hell was going to settle back down in her former life as much as she could, the limits of gender change being the only obstacle. 

Sakura also got her mother to chop off her hair that very night, so the next day she went to school with new do – not boyish, but just slightly longer than chin-length and with bangs, the wavy style more in sync with the type of do that Sakuragi would have had, had he been, well, a _girl_. And now he was. 

Her opinion on red hair was also revised, seeing the way the way that Haruko's eyes lit up when she saw her and practically leapt into a hug with her. The gundam had welcomed her back when they saw her, as did Ayako and Ryota. There were jokes about the change in gender, but Sakura's perfect headbutt silenced them swiftly. Only they would know who she really was, which was fine by her since everyone else would soon realise what a tensai she was once she settled into Shohoku properly. 

And so Sakura marched off to class with her friends, hands in pockets and 'singing' loudly, "Ore wa tensai… Tensai, tensai… Basket Sakura kawaii…" More than a few eyebrows were raised, but there were always such responses when Sakuragi, or Sakura, were concerned. 

Rukawa watched from the sidelines. Anyone watching him would have been given the shock of their lives, since his usually stoic expression melted briefly into one that beheld a soft smile.   


FIN 

  


**PS**. Yes. 'Tis just a elaborate scheme to turn Sakuragi into a girl. Woot! 


End file.
